How Magnus and Alec Got Back Together
by thunderqueenlyn
Summary: My own version of how Alec and Magnus got back together! Set after reading CoLS and violently denying page 511! Hope you enjoy guys! And please review!


(AN: I haven't done fanfic in years! Literally in years. The last one I made was back in high school and now I'm in college xD If you've been reading my past fics then you'd see how much my writing has changed, probably from the influence of the novels I'm reading! Sorry for the grammar errors and stuff. i don't proof read xD)

(AN2: Btw, this is a Malec fanfic. My first non-anime fic and I hope you like it. I just finished CoLS and it hurt my heart. it realy did. Anyways here is my *own* version of how Magnus and Alec get back together. Characters are a bit ooc still, enjoooy. Leave a review. I'd appreciate it so much :*)

~o~

I stared at him as he gracefully manuevered his body down the hallway with a book in one had and a steaming coffee mug with the print 'I'm magnificent and I know it' in the other. He quickly turned around as soon as I made a small coughing noise, which I intentionally made. Gold cat-like eyes stared at me with a tinge of sadness, anger, disbelief and I think, I hope, love. I returned his gaze. I was never good at talking and neither was I good at having to make excuses for my actions, not that I was bad at lying but because I barely made anything that required me having to explain anything. Jace, now he was good at talking.

"Alexander, " his voice cracked and his eyes lowered as to avoid mine. Magnus set the book and mug down the round table which wasn't there a moment ago, probably from some antique shop nearby.

"Don't. Don't call me that." I heard my voice but I don't know where it came from or how I was even able to speak. After the encounter with Maureen, which I barely survived, I was unconscious for two whole days and Isabelle said that it was Magnus who saved me, again, only this time he didn't wait for me to wake up. Of course Isabelle, being my sister, asked what had happened and why Magnus didn't stay, because he could've stayed. I answered her briefly and summarized the story leaving out the little fight with Camille but giving the gist of the story. She looked at me with an angry face and lectured on and on about how I should have just talked to Magnus and that he would understand and then none of this would have ever happened. We would still be together and we wouldn't have to stand in his hallway awkwardly.

"Alec, I told you to never come back." Magnus was already hovering in front of me but he was still avoiding my eyes. If only I could say to him that, say to him that I love him. It should be easier than this, three measly words that wouldn't even take a second, but the words choked on my throat. I do love him. I love him enough to gamble with a vampire just to be with him. But I was also selfish, selfish enough to rid him of his immortality just to have him. I looked at his pale face and noticed the dark rings under his eyes, he must have a job which paid paid him nicely.

"Magnus, I...I.." With one small movement he wrapped me around his arms, his slender body fit perfectly with mine. He was a few inches taller than me which rarely happened and sometimes I'd have to pull myself up to kiss him properly. My arms found its way across his back, locking him in an embrace. Our heartbeats mixed together in an awkward pace, mine was beating unevenly fast and his was slow and steady, as if he were always calm. Minutes, hours, heck, even days could pass by and this is the only place I'd want to be, stuck in his embrace, coiled under his slender arms, pressed against his body. Crying was not an option, I don't fancy crying especially not in front of Magnus, or anybody for that matt0er, and nor was shouting. When Isabelle told me that Magnus was the one who healed me, I felt a smile starting to form thinking that he was somewhere in the Institute waiting for me but was dismissed when she followed up that he left. My heart sank a little then and the forming smile turned into a frown.

Magnus broke us apart and held my shoulders. This time I could clearly see his weary face, his face was more pale than I thought, his hair was dishevelled, his eyes had heavier and darker circles under them and he just looked, wearier. Absent-mindedly my fingers reached up to his cheek and brushed them, instanly feeling that familiar warmth. Leaning towards him, I brought myself up and kissed him. By far it was the best thing I could think of to make him feel what I wanted to say. It didn't last long as I stepped back and just admired him, my hands clutching his. Truly he was magnificent, not in a warlock way, but in a normal way.

"Magnus. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I was selfish. I.. I.." He pulled me in again for a kiss, this time a more serious kiss. I felt his intent as he wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me closer. The thought of kissing Magnus after he broke up with me was a long shot and I had put it at the bottom of my mental list of 'To-do-things-with-Magnus-after-he-broke-up-with-me', which had the words 'shouting and fighting' at the top. Was this how he interpreted 'Kiss and make up'? by actually kissing and acting if nothing happened? Was this how he resolved all his past problems with his past lovers? His past lovers. Camille.

I pulled away and clearly, Magnus was surprised by my actions. Just as he was surprised when I kissed him at the Accords Hall in front of other Shadowhunters, in front of my parents.

"Alec, please. Just leave" said Magnus as he dropped my hands and put his to his side, "This is not making things easier for both of us." He took a step back and crossed his arms all the while ignoring my gaze, again.

My eyes widened, he kisses me and then breaks my heart again, breaks our hearts again. "Magnus, I love you." There it is. The words flew out of my mouth and the second it did, his head bobbed up and he stared at me. "I, I love you. I wanted, want to be with be you."

A frown crept up his face, much to my surprise, I was expecting a smile or something other than a frown. "Alexander, " he moved back and this time his look was sure "Alexander, no, Alec, please just leave. If you don't, then I don't have a choice but to Portal you back." My arms threatened to punch him the face just in case he didn't know what he was saying but my eyes could see that it was Magnus, the same Magnus I saw at the party the with Jace, Clary, Izzy and Simon, the same Magnus who told me he loved me, the same Magnus who held my hand and said he needed my strength, the same Magnus who I love, the real Magnus who loved me. I took a step back and turned around, in hate that he just brushed me off like that. But then again, it's not everyday your lover inquires with your ex on how to shorten your life span. Quickly I made my way towards the door,while trying to ignore the bland design of the room, the black leather couch and round wooden table with books and mugs scattered on top and a photograph pinned on the wall. I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see what, or who, the photograph was. A man with black hair and ocean eyes stood regally, next to him was a taller man dressed like a normal Paris tourist, and behind them was the Eiffel Tower. "Magnus, _this_ is harder for both of us." I hissed under my breath then stormed away, outside his apartment and right into the snow.

~0~

"Alec, you shouldn't have left you know?" said Izzy as she plunged into her lecture on how I should have acted. The moment I entered the Institute she and Clary were standing behind the door, apparently waiting for me and good news. I never knew they were this excited about my love life. If only their enthusiasm could save it, which I know it couldn't. Izzy wore a black shirt which hugged her body and a black leather jacket, her hair was tied in a single pony tail and her face was rid of heavy make up, while Clary was still wearing her mundane clothes, a cream over-sized sweater printed with some sort of-what she called it- anime. It was storming outside and I thought that things with Magnus would turn out better, only it didn't, so I had to march back to the Institute, storm and all..

"What was I supposed to do? He threatened to Portal my back here. Even if I wanted to I couldn't stay."

"It was _your_ fault for even thinking of making him not immortal." I expected to see a gloating look plastered on Isabelle's face but when I looked up all I could see was sadness. She was sharing my pain.

"What about you? Have you never thought of making Simon mortal again?" I said calmly so as not to burden her even more. We both know that someday the people we love will stay in this world while we depart from it, Simon will continue on as an immortal vampire and Magnus will always be Magnus. Only, they haven't talked about it yet and Izzy's never met up with any of Simon's ex-es to ask on how to make him mortal again. The thought pains me, I was selfish and greedy to even think of it. Magnus had lived for hundreds of years, dated countless people, fallen in love atleast a handful of times and here I came, meeting up with his ex, trying to make him mortal, stripping him of his immortality, of his chance to see the world rise and fall, to fall in love again with another person. The idea hurt even more, knowing that Magnus will eventually fall in love with someone who was not me.

"No, I mean yes, it would be nice to be with him, but I don't want to kill him." Izzy eased her way to the bed and sat beside me while Clary was sitting at the bed across mine. She wouldn't know what to say but it'd be wrong for me if I said that she doesn't know a small portion of what I feel. She loves Jace but because of Jace's new found angel fire power she can't even touch him without getting electrified or shocked. Here we were the group of frustrated lovers.

"Isabelle, come here would you?" Our mom decided to stay at the Institute since Dad was always 'busy' with trying to be the Inquisitor. She said it was so that she could keep an eye on us, but we know that she's just being protective ever since what happened to Max. Nobody's gotten quite over it yet, neither Izzy, Jace, Clary nor I. Izzy smiled at me and hugged me as if to say that everything will be all right, though I doubt it would be for me, and left the room. An awkward silence hung in the room now that Izzy left. Clary was fumbling with her fingers and avoided eye contact or any form of contact with me. I could sense her discomfort and my discomfort as well.

"Hey, uhm, Clary, if you want, you could, uhm leave. I'll be fine, I guess." She sucked in air as if I was threatening her to leave. Was I really that stiff and scary?

"Sure. Well I guess I'll get going then. I'll come back later, I think." With a careful gesture she stood and picked up her things, I noticed she brought a sketchpad, a new one at that. My mind was debating whether I should make her stay and retain this awkwardness or let her leave and wallow in self pity. I chose the first one.

"Clary, I take it back. Can you stay for a bit? If it's not too much of a trouble that is." I looked at her and saw her smiling at me as if she was just waiting for me to stop her. Her red locks was pulled in a low braid and her hands, now that I see them better, were lightly stained with colors. She must have been painting before I came back home.

"Okay, do you want to talk about your thing with Magnus? Though I don't think I'll be as good as Isabelle when it comes to lecturing you. I hardly doubt I could give you love advice." She laughed softly and I felt a smile etch my face. No wonder Jace always wanted, wants, to be with her. She sat back down the bed and looked at me. I returned her a quizical look then she looked away. "I never knew I could make you smile. Wow, I must have some talent in me. Jace must be rubbing off on me." I chuckled lightly and saw her smile. If she's trying to make me feel better then she's doing a better job than Isabelle.

"You know, you're better company than Izzy. For instance you don't shout at me." I shifted my weight on the bed so that my back was on the wall. I leaned against it and closed my eyes as if meditating. When I opened them Clary was already holding her sketchbook and pencil. Once I saw her art materials and I was shocked to see just how many pencils, brushes and paints she had. She explained that every brush had a different size, texture and whatever that made paintings look different or something. "Were you painting before I came back?"

"Yeah, I was trying a new art technique, though I don't think you'll be that interested." she must have noticed my eyes dull at the sound of art technique. I might have good at drawing _iratzes_ but I wasn't _that _interested in art.

"Go ahead, I need anything to distract me." I said as I closed my eyes and listened to what she had to say. I barely understood what she said but once in a while I'd nod when she said things I was familiar with. When she stopped talking, I opened my eyes and saw her concentrated on her sktechpad. She must have been skteching while talking to me. It seemed to be a habit of hers. "I don't know what those water pencil colors are, but I think you'll be able to something with it. you're good with art stuff." I didn't want to sound like I didn't care so I just went for some general lines which included others like 'Don't worry you'll be fine' or 'Yeah? you could do it'. There was no response and we stayed silent for about a minute until she looked up as if she just killed a Greater Demon with her bare hands.

"There I'm finished." She said triumphantly and then handed me her sketchbook, "I don't usually let people see my sketches but I hope it'll make you happy, or something." I took the sketchbook from her and thanked her. My eyes wandered from every corner of the paper and was completely amazed. She had skteched me sitting on the bed, back against the wall, feet propped up on a pillow-barefoot at that, eyes closed, only the sketch had wings, wings that hung proudly in the air as if daring to fly. "Sorry I didn't ask you permission to draw you. But you just looked so calm and it kinda triggered my art switch.".

I saw her smile shyly from the corner of my eye and I nodded as thanks. Black lines and curves never looked this appealing to me, it's as if the sketch could jump out any time and fly into the heavens. My hands carefully traveled across the page, taking in the smooth texture of the paper and a few smudge marks. Clary was an artist and I've seen her sketching once or twice but I've never seen any of her artworks, not until this one though, and I have to say she is _really_ good. I wonder can she make a sketch of Magnus? If nothing goes well then atleast I'll still have his portrait.

"Do you like it?" She sat down beside me and pointed at the wings. "Before all this happened, just when I found out the Nephilim had angel blood in them, not like ours and Jace though, I thought they-we, grew out wings like angels. I know it sounds ridiculous but I didn't know anything."

"I like it. Though, I don't think the wings suit me. I'm not angelic."

"Yes, I think the wings suits _me_ better." We both looked at the door and saw Jace leaning on the door frame with his arms crossed. "I have heavenly fire in my veins, got locked up with only a Silent Brother, which will never work out by the way, and here you are, my _parabatai_, getting cozy with my girlfriend." A smirk crawled up his face as he walked near us and to my side I saw Clary sticking out her tongue and making weird faces, which I will never understand why they do because it can't do physical damage, or any damage at that. I just looked at Jace as if to say I'm not interested. Clary, stood and kissed Jace lightly on the cheek and whispered something only her vampire friend could hear then headed out of the room. The only ones left were me and my _parabatai_.

"She was only showing me her sketches."

"I know, but, you," he trailed off then plopped his way to the end of the bed at my feet, "You are in bad condition." His eyes looked as if they were looking at a criminal caught in crime. With a wave of my hand, I dismissed his theory and shook my head.

"I am not. It's just cold outside."

"Alec, I know you. I've spent almost haf of my life with you and I know that something's wrong and I can feel it here," pointing at his _parabatai_ rune, "you have to talk with Magnus. Otherwise I'll just have to burn the entire apartment down." It was always a mystery where Jace inherited all his ego and sense of humor, I know Valentine wasn't like this, he was more _formal_. Maybe he got it from being a Herondale, but I've never met a Herondale so how should I know. I looked at him and in an instant I knew what he was implying. Ever since he became my _parabatai_, we shared this connection that sometimes didn't require us to talk and by exchanging looks we'd know what the other meant. It's quite handy especially at times when we didn't feel like talking, or when words just won't go through.

"And we both know which choice is the best. Though I do need to practice this heavenly fire and it would do me good If I could try and send streaks of it. It would be like knife throwing. Except I'll be using heavenly fire and my target would be Magnus's." I scowled and he just grinned. "Don't you dare. I still have my stuff there and I happen to like Chairman Meow."

My feet found the pair of black boots under the bed and slid them on. The feel of the cold leather against my feet sent cold streaks up my leg which I dismissed as I stood up. I turned towards Jace and he still wore that smug look on his face when he says or does something right. A smile escaped my face and headed towards the door. "Thanks. Tell that to Clary too." And before I could ease the door shut, I heard Jace say a few final words, "That cat, will be dead if you don't get back your shit together."

~0~

Winter was not one of my favorite seasons and a snowstorm wasn't the best weather I'd choose to go over to Brooklyn and stand in front of Magnus' apartment. For months I'd just march straight up ahead, feeling all the familiarity in, and open the door which may or may not be a Victorian themed room. But right now, every bit of familiarity escaped me. I'm not even sure my key still works or if the place has wards to throw me off, yet there's still that spark of hope that Magnus is still waiting for me. I walk towards the gate and fumble the keys to open them and with a soft creak it did. Usually the first floor occupants would leave something in front of the door, something mundanes did, and this time it was a box with the note 'Hi' on top. Sending boxes with notes to Magnus would never work. I doubt he'd even accept those things. My eyes trailed off from the box to the stairs and carefully, taking my time, took one step up. For what felt like hours I made my way up to his door. I knocked once then twice when there was no reply.

"Oh, for the love of-" he didn't continue when he saw it was me standing in his doorway. His gold-green cat eyes flickered with sadness as they met mine. "Alec," I didn't give him a chance to send me away as kissed him, full on the mouth. He took a step back, from the surprise and all, but didn't break free. My arms coiled around his waist and I felt his arms wrap around mine, ever so gently. It was as if our hands knew what to do when we kiss, if only my brain could work like that. We stayed like that for a moment until I leaned away and looked up at him, taking in all his familiar features, his black spiky hair, his cat eyes that shimmered with every blink and his mouth which seemed to curved to a smile. "Alec, I love you."

"I love you too. And I'm sorry. I know I was wrong an I apologize, and will apologize for as long as you'd want me to." I found myself pulling away and looking at the photograph on his wall, "I love you. And knowing how to make you mortal was not the reason why I kept going back to Camille, well it was one thing, but mainly because I don't know anything about you, where you grew up, what you liked, what you hated, who your father was-"

"That's was too far" he interupted, but he wasn't angry, just Magnus.

"Let me finish," I spun around and found him standing behind me, and fearing I won't be able to talk while facing him, turned around again. "The thing is, I can't be in a relationship with you and not know you. You know all about me and it's unfair that I know nothing of you, except that you throw ridiculous parties to celebrate the Chairman's birthday when it's not. There I'm finished." As I exhaled softly I pair of arms wrapped on my chest and I felt Magnus lean his body closer to mine, his chin resting lightly on my shoulder and his face inches from mine.

"I love you Alec," his eyes shut closed and I could see the eyeliner and glitter on his eyelids, "I forgive you, I've forgiven you. But I'm afraid that I'll fall so inlove with you that when, when you die, I'll be nothing but a shell." It was strange hearing Magnus say these words. He's never talked about immortality before, just that it was both a curse and a gift. "I won't get tired of saying I love you but what happens when you die? I'll be left alone with a heart so broken it's beyond fixing." His voice felt as if it were about to crack but he still continued "I'd be alive but my heart wouldn't be. I know it seems untrue for an immortal warlock to say this but it's true, out of all my loves and heartbreak, you are different. I've never loved like I've loved you Alexander."

With all my effort I lifted his hands and turned to lock him in my embrace. My head buried itself in his shoulders and I felt his head rest on mine. His hands travelled up and down my back as if to soothe me and his breathing ruffled my hair, which was already messy in the first place. I wasn't crying, I just wanted to hold him like this, to take in his scent- sandalwood, to feel his body close to mine.

"Magnus, I love you and until the day I die I'd love you. I don't know if it's true that I'd get reincarnarted or whatever, but even if I'm another person I'd still love you. I'd love you over and over again Magnus. I'm selfish and I love you." and with that I kissed him gently.

"Nephilim, such selfish creatures. Want all the glory to themselves." he chuckled and then kissed me again.

"Aku cinta kamu"


End file.
